The more I try to understand myself, the more complicated and uglier I look.
I hate to act as if I am quite confident and know what I am, when I am not. I hate to talk as if i have thought of every subject and formed my opinions long before, even when it is the first time i thought of. But why do I do that? Is it that I wanted to be on high in their minds? Or do I fear that I loose my charm if i have any? It is irritatingly pity to be uncertain of oneself.
When I see, some rare people of the mob around, I am awed with their simplicity and my self hatred erupts in humiliation. How could they be so honest with others when I am not able to be like that with myself in certain matters? What a stupid and nonentity am I, among those very simple and very ordinary people!
Let me read you and learn a bit.
I hate to act as if I am quite confident and know what I am, when I am not. I hate to talk as if i have thought of every subject and formed my opinions long before, even when it is the first time i thought of. But why do I do that? Is it that I wanted to be on high in their minds? Or do I fear that I loose my charm if i have any? It is irritatingly pity to be uncertain of oneself.
When I see, some rare people of the mob around, I am awed with their simplicity and my self hatred erupts in humiliation. How could they be so honest with others when I am not able to be like that with myself in certain matters? What a stupid and nonentity am I, among those very simple and very ordinary people!
Let me read you and learn a bit.
1 comment:
are you talking abt me honey ;;)
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