On revamp

Dear ones,

Excuse me, for i made you wait for almost 8 months Or otherwise, are you people happy for the escapades from this boring stuff? Whatever! You can't escape anymore. For now, don't ask me why i hid myself this long. Tall story!

I consider this ancient blog of mine as significant as everybody's first love. I might have written very stupid things and very stupidly. I just love that stupidity, as it is the one where i got the pleasure of expressing and struggled many times to show my vocab. a bit strong and sexy. I certainly felt longing for the inexplicable pleasure of blogging. The reason to be kateef with my blog doesn't seem reasonable. May be i just wanted to write, and the reason looked ridicule.

Today i take oath. "For whatever happens, I will write on." If you don't find at least one post a month, check in obituary column of any local news paper.

So you can waste your time whenever you feel like. Cheers.

A bad day turned into good

Yestermorning, pinni planned to go somewhere and left before me. She told me to give the key to a aunt who is a friendly neighbor to pinni. As pinni left, i locked the house and gave the key to that aunt. That time she was leaving to take bath. As I was walking to the bus stop, i suddenly remembered that i forgot to take my cell phone.. I ran back hoping she wouldn't get inside the bathroom. I rang the door bell. No.. it wasn't working. So I knocked the door. There was no reply. and soon i heard the sound of water. I stood there for about 10 minutes. and the water sound was stopped. So I knocked again.. no-reply. waited for two more minutes.. So i thought she didn't hear me. Then, i knocked again. Now she replied to wait for 1 more minute.

She opened the door and shouted at me for knocking the door. I explained her the reason.(which i have done very few times.. or never?) She gave the key back. She made a face of dog and told me to give the key to any other.

I felt very humiliated to face this unexpected blow up. This incident waxed my phobia of "think 1000 times before asking someone for help". I was badly hurt. I wept all the way to my office not even caring the pity looks of the people around.

In the evening, me and nashi met in central. we started with a sweet hug. This is how sweet, i feel to be with my friends.. We wandered there for more than half-an-hour.. and filled the stack of things to buy when we get more money. We left the place feeling It is not for people like us. Nashi was thirsty so we came out searching for a kiosk(of our range). We found a book shop and got in without a word. This time, we didn't feel all that we did in central. we selected our books. She paid for my books and i paid for hers. We got into the shop beside for snacks. spent some more time eating and drinking.. we left at 9.00pm with another sweet hug.

Me and nashi planned to meet atleast once in a month.. and this time, our meeting place will be that book shop. Everytime we meet, we should buy a book for others if the last month's book is finished. Good idea. Isn't it?

Happy Birthday To You..

Happy Birthday Yellows

You aren't as beautiful as of then.. but you got a special place in my assests.. more than the expensive gifts and the best compliments. Not too long, just for some more time.. stay with me to remind i was not badly detested.

Nari alias Kashyap

Though i have many male friends and they are equally and sometimes more close to me than the best of my girl friends.. I could feel a noticable pull back of my feelings before them. and i will take my feelings through many levels of filtration. This may be possibly because of the natural reciprocation..

But late in my life.. I found this guy, Kashyap. impressively simple. You can find out just seeing him that he is not simple just for the sake of impressing. The best thing i like about him is he will not wear a mask as most of us do. He can confess. He can share the silliest things of his life. He can laugh. He can make you laugh. He can pull the child out of him.

I was not used to believe in blind friendship.. but now i do. I came to know it is not the way we become friends is important.. and WE are important.. He is someone you can catch up any time and let your heart out.. He will never make you uncomfortable digging in personal life.. He just thinks.. we are together.. That is the happiest thing.. and nothing else matters..

When he is with me.. I feel, we are friends from ages and there is nothing more to share.. everything is just to be remembered.. our first meeting, next and next.. and our cross chemistry.

I still have his humble mail confessing that he is not really Kashyap and he is Narayana Murthy(Nari).
Thank you so much Nari. I am so happy that our life roads crossed. Mistakes are sometimes good.. Otherwise i would have missed such a good friend.

Results are out...

but not the consequences..

I expected it all... but still sticked on. That was my nature. but not any more. I could see no point still pinning deep. and that isn't the purpose of me being here.

Nashi.. this time silas is wrong.. Pain is not good. It was more than the worst times i ever have had. but I am not even able to taste that tingle in this pain. It is flat. It is tasteless.

Many have asked me the difficult questions.. still i could answer them not thinking twice. and so you say i am tough. But this time, I was dying to take this decision. Shall i be myself being selfish and stone-like? or do i need to pay the price back and compromise?

Will i be able to stand if i make the second choice? Can i fight with myself which i always found harder than fighting with any else?

My modest dreams of yesterday...

walking barefeet in the rain when i was just allowed to peep through the window.
hoping my b'day never falls on sunday..
sitting on the soft cushioned sofas..
to touch the sky and pick the stars.. meaning it literally.
for a longer summer vacation filled with fun and mischief..
to become someone(I didn't know what), but someone rich enough - to invite my rich friends home.
and many more...(to be added)

There you are...

There you are... smiling like an angel, me... lured by a magic magnet.
There you are... glad and grinning, me... left throbbed.
There you are... aiming for the heights, me... nothing beyond your love.
There you are... walking on the moon, me... excited at every glimpse of him.
There you are... placid and proud, me.. blurred in the crowd.
There you are... not caring to look back, me... wondering where i left myself.
There you are... reading this post, me... hoping that you would re-read to know the veiled.