23

These are the marks I got for 50 in some stupid written test for the placements. When I got to know these marks, I didn't believe and kept on asking him if he was kidding. He said he was saying all the truth and could bet on my marks. So I didn't ask him again. You may think, why the hell I do care, once I am placed. But you see, I would always know, when I am going to score the highest or flunk the exam. I knew, I would have failed for certain in ATFL, if only I didn't get in my teacher's eye. I admit, I passed that exam just because she had that good impression of me and would have given that 'A' grade. And this written test for the placement I am taking about is otherwise. I enjoyed this test and strongly felt I am going to score high or atleast next to the highest. I expected, I would lose only 4 or 5 marks. When I came to know that I got only 23 which is less than half of the maximum, I felt like puking at my false confidence levels. I was upset all the day. I better wouldn't have asked him for my marks. I am so sick and I feel more sick, when my uncles and aunts keep telling their kids to consider me as their inspiration. Why wouldn't they realize, I am not the damn best student and can get only 23 for 50 when I expect 45+.

Weekend

A nice weekend after almost an year, I went to Bhanu's hostel to bring her home. The three hours journey had given me time to think of all those sweet and sad memories. I felt good. On the return journey, we played antakshari, had fun singing all those old songs we once used to copy in the last pages of our note books and learn by heart.

And then Laasya, she looks innocently cute and I can't even think of the grudge for The Takeover and can only hang around and give her as many kisses as possible. She reminds me of my brother. He is the first person I adored and admired. I think, I am feeling those shades of love for Laasya.

On Diwali, Laasya cut the cake for her dad's birthday. After that, we all danced. It was a kind of jungle dance. Mahesh captured it all in the video. Then to crackers. Mahesh, Dad and Sandhya enjoyed. Only me and Gayatri were the spectators and enjoyed watching from the distance.

In the next morning, I thought, This is the weekend I had fun after long. But something was constantly pinching me that it is all too good to last long. I feared, there was something around the corner and was going to grab all this happiness.

And it did. It was Ammamma, as it would be on any other weekends. I don't think, she speaks like that because of her age. She was so all the time I know her. Sharp tongued by birth. Even if she acts mild, she would have some mean reason running in the background. She wants everybody to do all that she says and also in the way she instructs. It isn't her house to insult me to get out of her house as she did all the time in Repalle. I am not bound to listen to all the shit says. But I am hapless to fight back for my mom's sake. I salute her patience for being with ammama all her life. Looking at mom, I can only sigh and suppress the thought of killing her mom off on the moment.

You may think, I am thankless brute. But my ammamma is not sweet like everybody's. She is unique specially made for special ones like me :(

Pierre is falling in love with Natasha

and I with Tolstoy. Perhaps, my laziness could be the natural consequence of this. Everything looks so easy to be postponed. I do not and cannot post for some time as I very well know, how illogical and stupid, someone in love can speak or write. So I refrain from writing till this nasha goes down or atleast subsides.