Oh God! When would I get to know you?

This week was comparatively less stressful and at the same time more painful. I have got a really bad mail from a customer. Nobody ever made me so greatly ashamed. I can't even share with you how it happened. I had been sandwiched b/w our own confidential terms and the customer's interrogative questions. I doubt the customer is a retired detective in Defence department. I was very much disappointed by Ram's response when I showed him the mail. He just said "Let's wait and see how the big guys respond?" What!! Aren't you one?? I immediately advised my kids(I mean Saritha and Dev) to never accept to support a customer.

When the customer was about to kill me with his fangs oozing the strongest words of insult, I called Narayan, an FAE from US office to give me some help. I am not exaggerating but he completely relieved me from all the pain. He asked me to relax and not to respond to any of the customer's scene creating mails and to answer only for clear technical questions. After talking to him, my impression of Ram got strengthened. We secretly named our small work room "The Release Factory" because we don't know when Ram would say "Today we have a release." I hate Ram even more when he is together with that new guy. They both will go to an extreme as it would blow you brains out. Nobody here likes me when I criticize Ram. So don't get away even if you are bored of my office gossip.

I thought I was dreaming but not. Chichikov has really become devotional. He is going to church on Sundays. His laptop's wallpaper is now Jesus wearing the crown of thorns and some message by the side. I thought anybody including myself would do that but not Chichikov. How mysteriously the impressions are broken. On the side thought, why am I never made to realize God? why am I remorseless? do I have to wait yet? what else can change me when Raj's death couldn't do it?

Lolita is certainly a fall after you read Dostoevsky, Chekov, Gogol and Tolstoy. Nabokov was not even upto the mark that Turgenev made. I have been reading it from a month but there are still 100 more pages to go. The book is not as attractive as it's cover. He might have had a point, but it is all diluted by modernism and illustrations. In the meanwhile I completed The Essential Calvin and Hobbes. I liked Calvin evaluating performance of his nature-loving dad as dad.

The heavy week

This week was the most 'incidental' week of my whole life. It is full of activities. At office, I had to release something or the other every two days. Just not that, I had to receive and accept all the comments from reviewers and customers whether I like it or not. Most of the times, I don't like them. Nashi was almost living at her office. But she taught me with so much difficulty over phone at midnight how to make a paper cube without glue. My intention was to learn the same from her ten year old little sister, Faiza. Because of the wrong timing, I was trapped with Nashi's terrible teaching skills. At last, I could make something badly crumpled only to make it look like a cube. Personally, little happiness. I talked to a friend after five months. But before I share this with Chichikov, a dramatic twist happened in his life and he was doomed. And the doom spreads as everything does among friends. With Asha, I never expected any friendly relation would rise b/w us. But I nearly cried when I talked to her yesterday. Secret is(Of course not anymore), I wept when she was walking down the aisle. Then I wished her to be the most irritating wife. Now my intentions are quite opposite. I wish them to be happy together. Dolores Haze and Humbert Humbert are just ignored. I didn't catch up with them from a week. I know, I will regret later, but I hate my parents as much as I hate my other relatives.

Nagamandala

Nagamandala, Written by Girish Karnad, Directed by Ram Mohan Holagundi.

This play is not for general crowd (which pitifully includes me) who would enjoy the slapstick humour though one never believes in it for true. Not for them, who may actually sympathise with the misery but would be anxious to cover it in the cheek twitches of guffaws. This is for the real art lovers who would want to enjoy the confusion of the protagonist by her husband's dual personality, his don't-ask-me-why's and when he asks her to keep her pregnancy a secret from himself.

Attractions:
1. Mrunal, who acted as Karudavva is superb. She has got a very strong voice and a very distinct expression.
2. Playwright (Ashutosh) and Story wearing the song(Sowmya) roles are small but lively.
3. The little boy who acted as dog seemed to have done proper research on dogs.
4. Occasional dances of the 'flames'

Drawbacks:
1. Repetitive scenes and felt dragging in the middle. I think, Ram didn't take any liberty to cut it short from the novel.
2. Though English is universal, Telugu or Hindi translations would have been excellent.

Moral of the story:
In Story's words, People would accept a woman either as slave or as a Goddess, but never an equal.

To my surprise, the owner of a random blog, I have been following for an year or so, was there last night and had complained about our kind of group in his post. Sorry Sir! Thanks to all my friends, who came along with me for the show and been through the two endings of the story.

I am a fool, I thought of rewriting my hate poem. That can never be.

What happened: I fought with my HR. (I hate her the most. believe me, more than Harpreet)

Result : I had the usual "special meetings" with my Project Manager about the "special privileges" I had.

Conclusion : I am not speaking to my HR (silly. I did that always) and avoiding my manager.

Consequence : I don't speak to half the people around. (Coercive Diplomacy)

Future Plan : Dust off the resume(Where is it??).

Neighbouring Prospect : I guess, I would just be 'normal' in a week.

May be it's not a gender issue at all and I misconstrued the whole point. Possible. Even then, I couldn't be silent when one tries to control me or make all the decisions for me even if that one is my employer(My (poor) parents know this better!!). It is just horrible to bow your head for whom you have no respect. It is good to work here but one would be forced to hate dealing with HR-dominated management.

I do not wish to have any "special privileges" just because I'm a woman.