Freedom from Freedom

I always had done things in my own way crushing the hopes of my dear ones. "I" am the only most important one to me. Though I generally hate myself, there is that unabated and probably extending love for myself deep within. It has grown up like a mountain and now I am not able to perceive anything beyond me. It has become a block that broke the transparency between you and me. I need a guide for sometimes I doubt my little rascal for the highs and lows it takes me to. Enough of the play! I'm tired and need some rest. So I seek that guide who would probably set the child in me to its discipline. But then it pains me to prefer the guide to my rascal, who is no one but me. I am suffering from narcissism. I know my disease but not the medication except that utter humiliation I shall be put into. This is the problem of having excessive freedom but I am scared to give up my freedom, which had come so easy from my family. That is why, I keep postponing the task of relinquishing my freedom to an uncertain amount of time. This time, vexed with me, somebody set the clock for me. A month from today! Probably, I am going to be a puppet. See, what a fool am I? I thought of making you my puppets and you turned me one even before I am on my job.

A month to live, as I want to. I'll be freaky and will be doing things one on another, for I don't have much time to waste on the formalities. I am in hurry and please run along with me if you care a piece of me.