My best friend's wedding

On 30th April, my father got through a surgery for the road accident he had on 24th April. The same day, my best friend and my best friend's best friend called me to invite me for their long awaited wedding on 28th May. I congratulated both of them and was happy. Years ago, I thought my happiness for this occasion was impossible. Over the time, I realized that there is a mysterious equation which turns your foes to friends and friends to foes and you know not when.

3D, Chaitu and I attended the wedding. 3D and Chaitu left early because of their personal engagements. So I had to join them either at Rajahmundry or at Eluru on our return journey. During the wedding, I was honored with the privilege to do what I want to do at my friend's wedding as if I was one in their family. I didn't want to misuse this honor so I left with my best friend's family when they saw her off at her in-law's place.

I wanted to spend the remaining time I had before joining 3D in the old way. I had a walk about Godavari ghats to search for a hideout where I could sit and philosophize my life while enjoying the view of lively water which was shy and calm a moment and was shocked and splattered by a speed boat in another moment. My search was in vain. Before I could find a goofy place, I found a curious event where a bunch of people(of all ages) gathered and were rejoicing Annamayya sankeertanas on the occasion of his birthday. As I was no more a music lover, I continued my previous search. But then, I heard some meaningful words being uttered by a singer as a preface to an equally beautiful song. So I got in and listened to the full song. Surprisingly the same song was sung by five more artists both young and old.

The first few lyrics of this song go like this..

Ekkadi maanusha janmambettina phalamemunnadi
nikkamu ninne nammiti nee chittambikanu.

Listen to it once, you'll listen to it thousand times. BTW, this song is not annamayya's sankeertana but his son's. It is one more beautiful question and elegant submission to God similar to the one in "Arziyan" from Delhi-6.

My geek hero

I have fallen in love with Mike Scruggs for the way he understands an idea himself and makes others understand it in the same way and for his super confidence to dissect the problem and debug with complete accuracy and no assumptions. I wouldn't mind even if he calls me a fat head. I must have been really one if he calls me so. I am captivated by 'His Excellency'.

Ex-Friends

Not the ones who'd say "I never thought of you so. let's be friends.", but the ones, who will join you for shopping, loafing, talking, not-talking, fighting, laughing, crying, partying and everything that is possible to share with or without your will. I have had some similar friends who would match with me at-least in one way of thought. I enjoyed to spend time with them because it gave me comfort and convinced me that I was still sane. Now, all of us are so changed that one would be surprised to think of any existence of slightest friendship between us based on our extra learning. Meant no offence. I have learnt nothing. I came back to zero and I'm starting afresh.

So as you see yourself, friendship is impossible now. Let us part and be ex-friends. You can break up with me first, if it gives you any comfort. Forgive me. I started to think that friendship is no lesser myth than love.

Me? or You?

The voluminous hatred for my boss is shifted to someone whom I treated like a favorite teacher. Every word he speaks irritates me. His presence itself disturbs me. But why? He had probably been the same from beginning. Then, why am I finding faults with him now? Why I had been blind before? Is he changed? or am I changed?

Kins, Friends, Foes and Books

If I say something, don't believe me till I repeat it for 5 times. I pass some stupid statements even before they form their shape in me. I am always in hurry.. always. I said I'd write at-least once in a month and I hid myself for several months. By the way, 5 doesn't have any significance, it's just a random number below 10.

The point is.. these days.. it is very difficult to think of anything new. Every thought is already thought by a better thinker and a better analysis is made ready. So all one can do is to analyse that analysis and dare not to think more. Hmm..even if one is allowed to think, there is no real value one can add to that initial one. Initial thinkers get too shrewd. It probably gives them the feeling of ruling the world. They leave no place for others. Leaving these irrelevant talk for some other post, let me come back to my usual gossip about home, friends, colleagues and books.

I always wondered in the latter half of my hostel life, why I had been so attached to home. Now I remember everything I missed. Home is a heaven. All the day, when you are either bugged by a bugger or chased by your manager or irritated by some fool you want to ignore, your mom at home will do some magic that you'll forget everything and everyone. Happy and feeling lucky to live with my parents. I wish my sister is also with us. Emotional tone doesn't suit me. Let me stop here.

Hadn't met Nashi till last Saturday. Sowmya arranged a get-together at Lamakaan. "Lamakaan" in short is a gifted house for artists and no-artists. Nashi and me thanked Sowmy so much for having shown us this place. We did some stupid thing too in excitement which will not be revealed for now. Last month, I met my best friend, Bhavani. She hasn't changed at all. She might have been improved inwardly but her behaviour and her treatment of me is exactly same as it was six years ago. It didn't occur to me that we hadn't seen each other for so long. May be that is why I call her my best friend.

Office has become loathsome. I have seen through almost everybody. Some people suddenly become insolent though I don't recall any incident which could have evoked these feelings in them. People just kill each other to show off the little work they have done and nullify the others'. Seriously, some people guide me how to reply to their mail and forcibly make me take their dictation in their favour though I rarely submit. I started disliking Sreeram also. He is not the one but there are some real scoundrels of whom I'm worried about. They wouldn't even let me ignore them and disturb me until I loose my patience and say something they deserve.

I am reading "The possessed" by Dostoevsky. The same is also named as The Demons in some nations. It is a profound satire against the intellectuals who induce the seeds of revolt into ordinary people and drive them crazy for their own benefit. Dostoevsky has the special skill of mixing an ordinary story with most interesting dramatic elements. Praveen, thank you so much for the book. Tell me what do you want in exchange?

The Butter

Man is obsessed with the sole desire to control others. He thinks.. the best he could do it is with wealth and the second best is an emotional trap.

Note: When I generalise things, they are more about myself.

Sasi

Sasi died in an accident and I am not missing him at all, save the times when I talk to my friends and they remind me how he used to be. I forgot everything he did. I forgot how close he was to me. Now, I am feeling bad as I am not able to feel sorry for him and his family. I have become stone-like. I remember, I was very worried, when chichikov's friend, whom I never met died in a similar accident. Seems like, I have got into the common view of life. Out of sight, out of mind. or have I started accepting death as inevitable for others?

Sasi was one of my closest friends in college. We played jolly many times and fought like kids and kept a "mirror on my side" when one of us is tired. He treats me like a sister and calls everyone he suspects to be in love with me or I am in love with as 'bava'. He gifted a magical pencil on my birthday to write what I wish. But I have never tried it. Last time, he spoke to me, he called me 'paakidaana' for not telling him something. I liked him very much when we were friends.

Sorry Sasi. I cannot figure out what brought this distance. It would have been better if we preferred fighting to being out of touch.