The Takeover

Did you see that photo frame on the TV? That was me hugging Amma in that, which was taken on the day of my brother's marriage. Now, It is not there anymore. I wouldn't have felt bad just for that. But it is replaced. Replaced by Dad and Laasya rubbing their cheeks. In the shelf, It was Laasya with those grand mother goggles. On refrigerator, it is Laasya again pulling the Teddy. She is on the bed room teapoy. Even the desktop background is changed to Laasya's.

I am not feeling jealous, but little upset for my time is over to be the princess of the home. It reminds me of my 24 years of being everybody's apple of the eye and today's impeachment from that warmly position which I never can get back. I wonder, why I always hated when I am loved more than expected and did things to hurt others to adjust the love meter. But now, I am throwing glances which say "Little devil!" every time I see something of Laasya. I am thinking, she is the one, grabbing all the attention from my loved ones. She reminds me of my age, seems to tell me not to act childish, and it is her time to do these things. In her presence, I behaved like an old aunt. I didn't try it. It happened so.

I think, it is must to have a competitor, to realise how good it feels to be loved before it is too late. Anyways, It is not a big thing, I will start living without what I didn't care before and what I wouldn't get anymore... Another square with life!

Guru Gyaan

Long long ago, when I joined my first job(still with the same), not having much work to do, I wandered aimlessly in the web world. I was surprised to know people from other countries talking about Jiddu Krishna Murthy, about whom I heard just the name and nothing more. I ventured to research on this person as it's my habit to know about the people varying in the range from thugs to highly influential. So I read his writings on Death, Incarnation and in the last "On Love". As I went on reading, I hated myself more and more but I couldn't stop before the last word. I hated his writing and I even hated myself believing what he said to be true. Then I took a copy of it and kept it in my rack.

I forgot about it till recently , I planned to clean the waste in my cube. Read it again. Now being not prejudiced towards love, I felt it more disturbing . It is so sad that we need to go through all this trouble to feel that true love. I wanted to speak to somebody , that moment had stroked me with only one name. But I didn't talk to him as I thought he would think, that I called him to remind my birthday. I restrained for a day. When he called me up to wish , I told him all the confusions, that reading has raised in me. Thank God! He didn't laugh at me. He is my guru. how can he laugh at his student?

He told me, "Hey, You are just trapped into Krishan Murthy's Jiddu. First you go, and read love story again to come out of this status quo. It is very common and natural to feel the ownership on something you love. Let me give you an example. I loved my previous project. So whenever somebody does a check in, I will make sure they do it right and haven't disturbed anything though it is not my work. I feel it is mine." . Yes. You are right guru, even I do that with my FIPS project. I don't feel comfortable even when Sriram does a check in who actually introduced me to this project. So that means, we can feel possessive in love. and it will still be called love. Right? I am not still sure. But it is you, who assured me, so I believe like a child.

Thanks guru.