Vexed with himself, Sashi reproaches his parents and Pranathi all the time, to make them not to think of his own unfair actions. He comes to a point when he can no longer proceed with this ordeal. He decides to get lost from everybody's life. As he isn't courageous enough to commit suicide, he wants to run away from home and his commitments. He resigns to his job . Just a day before the planned day to disappear from all known people, he sits on his bed with a note book. He writes a letter to his father.
Nanna,
I am leaving. You had been my best friend all the time which is a rare thing for a man. But how can you change so quickly just for a girl is with me. Aren't you selfish to ask me not to love the one I love and love someone you bring? Am I not a free man? I know, these are all unnecessary questions to be asked now. You may think I am ungrateful sort. Yes I am. You made me so. You don't need to worry, as I'm neither going to die nor going to marry her. Though both the options seem better, your son is so lame to opt for them. I'll go far from you and her, hoping I'll never run into any of you for I cannot forgive you and I cannot answer her.
Sashi
Sashi, after writing this note, reads it four times to notice something is missing. Searching for the missing thing, he proceeds to his second letter. i.e for Pranathi.
Pranathi,
I'll not call you 'jaan' anymore. Actually I'll not call you at all. I hope, this would be my last communication to you. I am leaving for some unknown place. I am sick and tired to find fault with you and to get rid off you. But I didn't find one. Everyday, you seem to be better and I feel myself uglier. So I give up. I have only one way. A face to face confession. I am so unworthy of you. I cannot marry you for reasons I can't ignore. I could even go without giving you this note, but I want you to know that I too knew what a cruel thing I am going to do.
Sashi.
Sashi reads this also four times. He starts imagining how they would feel after he goes away. May be mother would faint as they show it in the movies. Father would be in rage to kill me off. How about Pranathi? Will she forgive me? Does she tear this note and resolve to forget me or would she keep it under her pillow and keeps crying? Sashi takes a nap with similar thoughts running in his brain.
That evening, Sashi burns his Sim card and packs up all his luggage. He thinks of the final question which he didn't think of till now. Where am I to go? What am I to do? How does it make difference? OK I will take the bus whichever comes first. I'll decide about the work later. He takes the note book in which he has written letters for the two people he loved. While he keeps them in envelopes, the door bell rings along with the shouting of the boy downstairs, He opens the door for the boy.
Nanna,
I am leaving. You had been my best friend all the time which is a rare thing for a man. But how can you change so quickly just for a girl is with me. Aren't you selfish to ask me not to love the one I love and love someone you bring? Am I not a free man? I know, these are all unnecessary questions to be asked now. You may think I am ungrateful sort. Yes I am. You made me so. You don't need to worry, as I'm neither going to die nor going to marry her. Though both the options seem better, your son is so lame to opt for them. I'll go far from you and her, hoping I'll never run into any of you for I cannot forgive you and I cannot answer her.
Sashi
Sashi, after writing this note, reads it four times to notice something is missing. Searching for the missing thing, he proceeds to his second letter. i.e for Pranathi.
Pranathi,
I'll not call you 'jaan' anymore. Actually I'll not call you at all. I hope, this would be my last communication to you. I am leaving for some unknown place. I am sick and tired to find fault with you and to get rid off you. But I didn't find one. Everyday, you seem to be better and I feel myself uglier. So I give up. I have only one way. A face to face confession. I am so unworthy of you. I cannot marry you for reasons I can't ignore. I could even go without giving you this note, but I want you to know that I too knew what a cruel thing I am going to do.
Sashi.
Sashi reads this also four times. He starts imagining how they would feel after he goes away. May be mother would faint as they show it in the movies. Father would be in rage to kill me off. How about Pranathi? Will she forgive me? Does she tear this note and resolve to forget me or would she keep it under her pillow and keeps crying? Sashi takes a nap with similar thoughts running in his brain.
That evening, Sashi burns his Sim card and packs up all his luggage. He thinks of the final question which he didn't think of till now. Where am I to go? What am I to do? How does it make difference? OK I will take the bus whichever comes first. I'll decide about the work later. He takes the note book in which he has written letters for the two people he loved. While he keeps them in envelopes, the door bell rings along with the shouting of the boy downstairs, He opens the door for the boy.
Author's note: When I read my posts again, I saw Nicholos and Sonya of War and Peace here. Though I like Natasha very much, I respect Sonya for her kind are rare to find. I wish she wins in this story even being submissive.
2 comments:
ohh just when the stry is getting interesting u stpped it , pls pls post the rest of the stry asap
The boy was shouting like hell and from the tone, Sashi understood the boy was excited. Yet Sashi opened the door with no curiosity but his expressions changed immediately when he saw beautiful flowers more so when he saw a cute face with a sweet smile. It was a pleasant surprise for him. For the moment he forgot everything and was happy to see Pranathi. They exchanged greetings with bigger smiles. And then pranathi with an expression of at-last-i-have-found-you enquired Sashi why his cell-phone is switched off. Sashi didnt knew what to answer, he wasnt prepared for any of this, and after a minute he said stammeringly, he lost his mobile. She said how she wanted to surprise him and inturn he shocked her by switching-off his mobile. He invited her in and when he tried to put mat, she sat on floor sayin "No formalities Please". He gestured the boy and said "chinna 2 cool drinks teeskuraa" and added "Aaaaaa sprite te". The boy left the room and Sashi turned towards Pranathi, took a deep breath and asked "So how come you are here, i mean when did you plan all these?".
Pranathi: "I have been observing you since a fortnight, you seem so dull n detached, at first I thought you are stressed at work but it continued, I, I just couldnt understand. Then one day I thought, I think last friday, that we should meet, thinking it might make you happy and it did. I could see it in your eyes."
Sashi: (givin a smile)"So when did you arrived n what you said to your parents?"
Pranathi: "Gawd, I arrived @ 10am and it took me eve 5 to see you. ur stupid phone throw it out. Ohh I am sorry, you said you lost it rite, i am sorry".
Sashi: (interupting her) "its okie, I can understand"
Pranathi: "my school friend stays here and I am staying with her. You know wut at first I thought of sayin to dad k I am coming to B'lore to attend an exam then I felt bad. bad abt myself and I went to dad and said k i want to go to b'lore to meet my friends, straight away. Dad was apprehensive a bit, naturally, but he gave me permission. I was never this dare, nizamga. Its all because of you, I truly wanted to see you ."
Suddenly silence fell upon and they didnt knew how to break it. Their problem solved momentarily when chinna shouted "Anna, Anna " standing at the door. Sashi asked him to come in, chinna came in handed over the bottles to Sashi, one of which Sashi passed to pranathi and then chinna left. They finished their drinks in silence again and atlast pranathi spoke, handing over the bottle to Sashi "Sashi, why are you so silent, is something bothering you, are you angry with me, Cant you share with me, may be I can help it out". For everything Sashi simply nodded his head sayin No, a plain No. Pranathi, cudnt understand anything except k something is seriously bothering him. Then pranathi intendently changed the topic and they spoke abt everything except their hearts. It got dark in no time, and seeing it pranathi stood up sayin, she has to leave. Sashi insisted her to have dinner together and took her to Forum mall and they both had dinner. Sashi dropped her at her friend's home and promised to meet her the next day @ ISKCON temple. All the night, Pranathi thought of everything that might possibly worry Sashi but cudnt be sure of anything at all. Sashi, on his way back, phoned his parents to make sure they dont knock his door next day and slept thinking whether to post the envolope or to give her directly.
Next day Sashi and Pranathi met at ISkcon temple, took the blessings of lord Krishna and sat on the stairs of the temple. And this time determined Pranathi said to Sashi: "Look Sashi, I really donno know what is bothering you, I know it something serious, I also understand you doesnt want to share the thing with me and I have no issues abt it. You know what, no situation is good or bad to handle, no problem is difficult or easy to solve, it all depends on how you react. However you react, at the end of the day you shouldnt regret abt it. I know its easy said than done, but you know what our heart really knows the correct solution for every problem we face but often we favor our minds in view of rationality." Sashi was even more determined and didnt gave a thought to what she said. Pranathi understood that he need more time to get normal and kept quiet. And then they went to Brigade Road and did some shopping, while searching for a T-shirt, pranathi's eyes fell on a quote which says, "I know im beautiful but stop imagining me naked" and her panicked gesture of hiding the T-shirt caught Sashi's eye too. For a moment there was a silly silence n sweet un-easiness. Pranathi presented Sashi a T-shirt which says "avoid hangover, stay drunk" and Sashi gifts her a pashmina shawl that suites her light apricot colored skirt. Then they had a look at time and realizes that they cant have lunch together as she has to catch Kachegude express. They reached station on time, Pranathi settles at her seat n Sashi grabs a food packet and water bottle for her. Sashi gives her the envolope n asks her to read after she reaches home. Just then train starts moving with a whistle and pranathi, wearing an expresssion of i'll-miss-you-like-hell in her eyes says take care to Sashi one last time and closes her eyes. Her face get stamped on his heart as he stand helplessly.
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