Temporarily I enacted Marvin's role.
One evening, I had gone into this pensive mood, thinking about the meaning of life and all. After so much thinking and breaking up heads, I lost the purpose of living. What difference could I make to this world? I am such a nonentity. I lost the enjoyment of life. I felt, I lived for so many years and this is the time, I should take leave. Suddenly, I got this strong urge to erase myself.
I thought 'Oh no! What am I thinking? I shall call someone to get out of this depression.' I called up Bhavani, but couldn't tell her the problem. Who doesn't have problems? Is it OK, if I call them for pouring out my own problems? No, No, I shall not. I should take care of myself. I tried to care myself. Had a talk with uncle about general matters. Watched TV, Read for sometime. Nothing made me feel better. May be I should call my guru? I called him up hesitantly and told him about a common friend's birthday. I got to know he was yet to have his dinner. So I was backed.
Next day was also gloomy, though it wasn't as bad as the day before. That evening, I got a call from a friend, and there was no stopping me, I talked as if I'm badly in need of someone to talk with. Though I was complaining about the depression, I started feeling better. I hung up almost after 40 minutes. That was a rare thing I do. My life also must have had the purpose which is though unclear now, will be revealed by time. May be I would call somebody, just in time they need someone to listen to?
One evening, I had gone into this pensive mood, thinking about the meaning of life and all. After so much thinking and breaking up heads, I lost the purpose of living. What difference could I make to this world? I am such a nonentity. I lost the enjoyment of life. I felt, I lived for so many years and this is the time, I should take leave. Suddenly, I got this strong urge to erase myself.
I thought 'Oh no! What am I thinking? I shall call someone to get out of this depression.' I called up Bhavani, but couldn't tell her the problem. Who doesn't have problems? Is it OK, if I call them for pouring out my own problems? No, No, I shall not. I should take care of myself. I tried to care myself. Had a talk with uncle about general matters. Watched TV, Read for sometime. Nothing made me feel better. May be I should call my guru? I called him up hesitantly and told him about a common friend's birthday. I got to know he was yet to have his dinner. So I was backed.
Next day was also gloomy, though it wasn't as bad as the day before. That evening, I got a call from a friend, and there was no stopping me, I talked as if I'm badly in need of someone to talk with. Though I was complaining about the depression, I started feeling better. I hung up almost after 40 minutes. That was a rare thing I do. My life also must have had the purpose which is though unclear now, will be revealed by time. May be I would call somebody, just in time they need someone to listen to?
1 comment:
GOD KNOWS YOU AND HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares your CREATOR, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
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